Take Two
by Sushi1976
Summary: Here & Now Sequal Ashley & Spencer are done high school, and they have a two year old son. Its time for them to grow up and be the parents they need to be to Asher. Does this mean Spencer won't go to college, and Ashley never becomes a famous musician...who knows.
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own South of Nowhere, Nor do I own the characters_

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_**Hey everyone! I'm sorry it took me forever to get back on here, I just needed a break. Now I am back hopefully for good so I can finish this story for all of you. - Sushi 1976**_

**Kyla**

Everyone was cheering and being happy that they finally graduated. Ashley, Spencer and her parents were all so proud at how far they have come. Ashley held Asher and Spencer as the cameras were flashing at them. Asher was smiling away not knowing how much he meant to everyone, and how much Ashley and Spencer loved him. Ashley looked over at her sister who was leaning against her car, she nodded at Spencer and handed her Asher. When Ashley reached Kyla she could tell her sister was tenser then before.

"So you graduated, congrates sis"

"Thanks, one day you will and I'll be right there cheering you on"

"One day?"

"Kyla your grades are falling, you're missing school, and you don't even sleep at night anymore. Please Kyla let me help you, I hate seeing you like this"

"Ashley how about you stay the hell out of my business and I will stay out of yours"

"What are you talking about Kyla?"

"I know about the tour, and I'm pretty sure Spencer didn't sign up to be a stay at home mommy while the mother of her child is sleeping around with groupies"

"Whoa Kyla I'm not going to cheat on Spencer, and how did you even find out?"

"Like you said I don't sleep at night, and I was outside when you got the call"

"Kyla I don't know what I'm going to do okay, touring would be awesome and I always wanted to. Things have changed now and I have a family, and I have a sister who needs my help"

"I don't need your help Ashley, I only came to tell you that I'm leaving and to say goodbye"

"What!"

"Ashley you have a family, a record deal, and the perfect life. I need to find mine, so I took the GED test and now I'm leaving. "

"Where will you go?"

"Anywhere but here big sis"

"Ky I don't want you to leave, Spencer is your best friend she is going to be hurt that you just left without a goodbye"

"She will deal, see ya Ashley"

Ashley grabbed her fist as she watched Kyla get onto a random motorcycle and drive off, somewhere deep inside she knew she had to let her go. Ashley was so focused on staring into a blank view she didn't even feel Arthur come up beside her.

"Was that Kyla?

"Ya"

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know"

"Ashley is everything okay?"

"No"

"What's going on Ashley?"

"Nothing, I have to get back to Spencer and Asher"

Ashley walked up and kissed Spencer on the cheek and grabbed Asher, giving him the tightest hug she could give him. She didn't know when she was going to see Kyla, but she knew her sister meant what she said. Spencer watched as Ashley stared at where Kyla drove off from, and she knew Kyla finally had the guts to run for once. Kyla had always stayed home, stayed safe, and always put her family before herself. Now it was time for Kyla to finally break away and find what she needs in her life to keep her happy.

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R&R please


	2. Spencer

_I do not own South of nowhere, Nor do I own the characters_

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**Spencer**

Spencer was in her old room putting Asher down for his nap, he was growing so fast. She ran her hands through his hair, as he slowly fell asleep. Things weren't always this calm in their lives, after Asher was born Spencer felt pressured even more. How could she have both lives when she just wanted one life for herself and her family? Spencer has gotten into some colleges and considered taking some offers, and then she thought of Asher and how she didn't want to be away from him. Her parents were there for them to help watch while her and Ashley were in school, now they have to deal with the real world.

Spencer decided to attend UCLA in the fall, so she could stay close to her family. Things were taking off for Ashley and her music career; it was time that Spencer started on hers. As she watched her 2 year old boy sleep, she wondered if she and Ashley would have made it this far together. After Ashley lost her mother and Kyla went on a down word spiral she didn't know if things would ever look up again. She knew Ashley still hadn't really dealt with her mother's death, and knowing Kyla was saying good bye to her today was going to push her back more.

Kyla had come to see Spencer the other day at lunch to explain to her that she needed to find herself, to start over. She apologized for all the drinking and promised she would get help; she made Spencer promise to help Ashley cope when she was ready to. Kyla also warned Spencer to not give up on her dream to fellow Ashley on hers, because then her dreams would never come alive. Kyla also told Spencer about the tour that Ashley has yet told her about, and that's why Spencer decided to accept the offer from UCLA.

"Hey baby, look how cute he is when he sleeps"

"Reminds me of you when you sleep"

"Oh really"

Ashley smiled and took a seat next to Spencer, pulling her into her arms. Ashley felt the safest when she had Spencer in her arms, and where she could see her son too. She led a gentle kiss on Spencer forehead.

"What's on your mind beautiful?"

"I know about the tour Ash, and before you say anything I think you should go"

"What why?"

"Because I know if you didn't want to then you would have told me, you know you're fighting yourself about going."

"I don't want to leave Asher and you alone"

"We won't be baby, and you will be able to Skype us and everything."

"Spencer I don't think I can unless you come with me"

"I can't babe; I'm going to UCLA in the fall"

"What, when were you going to tell me!"

"Ash keep it down Asher is sleeping"

Spencer pulled Ashley out of the room and down to her parents room, she took a seat and let out a breathe and started to explain.

"You know I want to go to college, and you knew that I was going to go eventually. Well now I am and you're going to go on tour"

"And leave you here to take care of a child and school. No I don't think so. "

"Ashley I know basketball was your dream baby, but when I see you on that stage I know you are the happiest, except when you're with us"

"Exactly so I'm not going"

"Ya you are Ash and you will have the most amazing time and have the most amazing adventures"

"Spence why are you trying to get me to go so bad"

"Because you won't let me forget about my dreams, and I'm not going to let you forget about yours"

"Look I'll find out about the details and see, because I don't want to be away from my family just to go travel and sing."

"Okay"

"Spence are you sure about this?"

"Yes baby, I'm going to miss you so much. I just know that I need to let you have this one thing for yourself okay?"

"Okay"

"I love you Ashley so much"

"I love you too Spencer"

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R&R Please


	3. Paula

_I Do Not Own South Of Nowhere_

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**Paula**

Paula sat on the deck and watched her daughter push her son on the swing in her back yard. Paula still had to remind her self that she was a grandmother, and her baby girl was now a mother. The last few years have been hectic, but she was glad Spencer made the choice of going to school. Paula wasn't really sure if she was okay with Ashley going on tour, but I guess she would have to let that one play out.

"Hey Paula"

"Hey Ash, where have you been missy?"

"I had to meet with my touring band and set up all the rules and stuff"

"You excited to finally go on tour and see the world?"

"Not really I just want to stay home and be with my family actually, but this is part of being in the music biz I guess"

"Your father toured a lot; I wish he was here to give you some advice about it"

"I know enough from his mistakes to not do them. I know I will make it home as much as I can so I don't miss Asher growing up, and I don't like being away from Spencer"

"Well you know we will help as much as we can, and if Kyla ever needs a place to stay she is more than welcome here"

"I told her, but I haven't heard from her in a while so I'm thinking she is still trying to find her way"

"Aren't you worried about her, I know I am"

"Kyla knows how to look after herself Paula, I trust her"

"Well if you trust her then so do I. I'll let you go enjoy the sunny day with your family Ashley. Come in after for lunch okay?"

"We will"

Paula gave Ashley a hug then turned to walk to Arthur's office, with a knocked she entered and took a seat on one of the chairs. Arthur knew his wife, and he knew something was on her mind.

"What's wrong honey?"

"I'm worried; I think you and I need to check up on Kyla"

"Honey you know Ashley trust her sister on her choice of leaving"

"I get that I do, but I would feel better if we knew where she was so we can make sure she is safe okay?"

"Okay, I will see what I can do, but I'm not the mob I don't have connections"

"Thank you Arthur"

"How are the kids doing?"

"I think they are good, I hope this is all going to work out. With Ashley across the world, Spencer in College, and there Son in daycare I hope this is going to be okay"

"Well this is what that decided to do, and we need to let them make their own choices now"

"I don't want them to; I want to just keep them here where they are all safe"

"I know you do, but the kids have to leave the nest, beside they have already"

"No they moved in to a place, they didn't move away"

"Well now we will just have to Skype to see them, and Spencer will bring Asher home on weekends so we can see him and her"

"I hate this"

"I know, and that's why I love you because you're so loving and caring"

"I thought it was because of my looks"

"That my dear is a bonus"

"Suck up"

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**R&R please**


	4. So It Begins

**A/N: I'm sorry it took so long everyone, I'm still here and yes I'm still writing. School has started up again, and so has my case load. I'm a full – time student, and work part time so please be patient with me. Thank you all for sticking around and loving the story. I love reading everyones reviews, and the more reviews are better. Please feel free to share with me some ideas you have for the story I would love to hear them. –Sushi1976**

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_I do not own South Of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters._

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**So it begins.**

3 years later...

Ashley walked down the hall as she wiped the sweat of her forehead, and trying to tune out her "people" behind her. She was trying to actually walk normal, but couldn't because her two big body guards were beside her at all times. Ashley couldn't even get a moment to herself without one of them holding up outside making sure she was safe. After her first tour Ashley fame sky rocketed and everyone wanted a piece of her. All Ashley really wanted was to go home to see her son, and to take a bubble bath.

Ashley had been on the road for the past 3 years on and off, and just did a month straight through without any vacation. She had Skype home to see Asher as much as she could, and fell asleep with him on the phone mostly every night. Being away from him was the hardest thing Ashley could handle, and she was ready to just end everything for him. She made the fission after she canceled one show last year to go see his show & tell that he begged her to come to. After realizing that she was missing her son grows up, she knew she had to end her career now.

"Lisa is my plane ready?"

"Yes, but you have to do a interview later tonight so you won't be leaving till after"

"What! No! I'm done and you knew that!"

"Ashley this is where you tell everyone why you are leaving and end it with a bang, that way you're still going to have your fame when you come back"

"Lisa you're fired, everyone go home!"

Ashley closed her dressing room, and went to lay down on her couch. She was exhausted and ready to just sleep till she was home with Asher. She took off her shirt and placed it over her eyes, it was so quiet. She looked around and thought about all the memories she has had while traveling the world and making music. She reached in her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, she needed to hear the one voice that kept her sane most of the time.

_"You coming home now mommy?"_

_"Soon buddy, I promise"_

_"You sure?"_

_"When you wake up tomorrow I'll be there at the breakfast table okay?"_

_"Okay mommy"_

_"Goodnight Asher, I love you so much!"_

_"I love you too mommy"_

It didn't take long for Asher to fall asleep, and Ashley woke up when her name was being called. She got up and opens the door to see her body guard Tyler. He was so tall that Ashley had to look up to actually look him in the eye.

"Sorry, but your plane is ready for you and you better get going if you want to keep that promise to Asher"

"Thanks dude"

Ashley walked out and began to run her hand down the cement walls as she remember what it was like the first time she went on tour. Her first show was sold out in a matter of mins, and the night of the even she was scared. She had perform many times in front of people, but not as many as there was that night. When she steps on stage she actually froze when she saw everyone, and then relaxed as she knew her father and mother was with her on that stage. After that every show was different, she refused to be a poppet and hop around like a fool. She was there to perform her songs she wrote from the heart, not perform a circus show. She did have a few starting artists as the openers of her shows, but she made sure they were the ones that wrote their own music. She teamed up with Linda Perry to arrange for all these artists to have their chance at fame. Now that Ashley was done performing she wanted to relax with her family, and then maybe open up her own studio.

Asher was 5 years old and Ashley wasn't ready to miss more of his life. He had stayed with the Carlins while Ashley was on tour, and they both did their best to keep in contact with her at all times. There were times where Ashley would fly to him just for an hour, then had to fly right back. Asher was the one person that made Ashley wake up every day and live. Things didn't go the way her and Spencer dreamt about, they turned for the worst when Spencer left them. She dropped out after a year of being in college, and left when Asher was only 3 years old. Asher still asks when his mom his coming home, but no one knows how to tell him the truth that they them self's don't even know.

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**R&R Please.**


	5. Little Things

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters_

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**Little Things **

Ashley pulled up to the school, and decided to stay in till the bell rang. Last time there were parents and their kids waiting for autographs? Ashley didn't want to send Levi to a private school; she wanted him to have a normal life as possible. She smiled when she finally herd the bell ring, she got out and walked over to the front of the school.

"Mommy!"

There was the reason why Ashley loved coming home, and loved being a mother. The 5 year old boy was running full throttle at her, dropping his bags so he could get there faster. With one big swoop, they both hugged each other with everything that had. Ashley waited so long for this moment, and she wasn't ready for it to end. Ashley always had to fight so hard not to cry, every time she got to see her little boy meant the world to her.

"Mom you can let go now, I'm fine"

"Sorry little man, I just missed you so much. Aren't you happy to see you mommy?"

"I am mom, I missed you too. Can we go get food at our place?"

"Sure little man, let go"

Once they got buckled up in Ashley SUV or what she call her MILF mobile, she turned on some music and started to drive towards their place. Asher was in the back pulling out all his stuff in his bag, making sure to show his mommy the craft he made. When they got to the place Ashley got out and unbuckled Asher, they walked in and went straight to their table.

"So bud, how's things?"

"Things are good ma; I just wish you would stay at home more"

"I'm done music now Asher, I'm staying home for now"

"Why"

"Why what?"

"Why did you stop?"

"I missed you, and I think it's good if you and I both have a stable life don't you?"

"What's stable means?"

"Means a steady life, no living away from each other, and me waking up and taking care of you"

"Do I get to live with you now?"

"Yes, you always have Asher. Just not when I'm on tour"

"Okay"

"So your okay with living with me, and letting me take care of you?"

"I don't like crust on my sandwiches mom"

"Okay I'll remember that"

"I like to have extra snacks when I have a hard day"

"Okay I'll do that for you"

"Mom?"

"Yes bud?"

"I'm glad we are going steady now"

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After dinner Ashley had dropped Asher back off at the Carlins, she needed to go somewhere and it wasn't a place for kids. As much as she hated the idea of spending more time away from Asher, a night wasn't going to change anything. Ashley stayed and talking with Arthur and Paula for a few hours, and she thanked them so much for everything. Arthur agreed to help her find a place close to them, so she could reach them anytime.

Ashley walked into the bar and made sure her hood was up, she wasn't ready to have her picture taken again in a sleezy bar. Its true Ashley did hook up with a few girls on the road, but hey she was a single parent and she always was human...she had needs. The only thing is that she never did tell anyone about jr down there, and no girl ever got the chance to see it. She wasn't ashamed of it, but she wasn't ready to talk about it either.

This bar wasn't a sleezy bar; it was actually one of the good ones. She had come here a few times, and she also knew the owner. When she got to the bar, she asked for a beer and took a seat at the end. She looked around at all the people grinding, then smiled when she heard her song come on. She didn't know people could grind to her music, but apparently to girls really were getting down to it.

"You looking to join them?"

Ashley turned and saw a brunette standing there with a clip board, and smiled on her face. Ashley laughed and gave the brunette a hug, she had missed her.

"Hey little sister, and no that's not my thing?"

"What is your thing, because I have a lot of options here at my bar"

"Ya I see that, how's things going?"

"Steady, you home now?"

"For good"

"Good, Asher needs his mom home with him. By the way tomorrow him and I got a date, and he better not stand me up"

"He will be there; he is at the Carlins till I find a place"

"Where you looking?"

"Anywhere for him and I, we need to just be steady and be a family you know"

"I missed you Ashley, and I know he misses you too. Please don't take that away from us again, stay this time"

"I'm the one that did stay"

"Don't Ashley, not tonight, not here"

"Look is she here?"

"Out back, be easy on her"

"Ya I'll try, why do you let her?"

"Who says I know about it"

Ashley walked through the crowed and into the back ally, where she saw a couple of crates and she took a seat on one. She looked up at the women leaning against the wall, and a smoke in her hand. Things have not changed, and that broke Ashley heart.

"Hey Spencer"

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R&R Please


	6. Let's Talk

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters_

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**Let's Talk**

Ashley looked over at the person she once knew, she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with also. The person she was looking at wasn't the same Spencer; this one was cold and full of hate. She watched as she inhaled the smoke, and looked at her with nothing in her eyes. She reached down for her beer, and took a sip.

"Your home"

"I am, I think it's good if I stay home from now on."

"You're done with music or just touring"

"I'm done with eveverything"

Ashley stood up and walked over so she was right in front of Spencer; she brushed some of her bang away from her eyes. She had hoped that just by her touch, the Spencer she knew and loved would come back to her. This wasn't the first time she had seen Spencer, and this was her at her best. She noticed there were no new marks on her arms, and she couldn't smell the booze on her breathes.

"I quit"

"For how long, because I know when I saw you last you were so fucked up that you couldn't even speak, let alone know where you were"

"Two weeks"

"Are you staying here with Kyla or just bumming around?"

"I came by to say hi, I'm waiting for her to finish up so we can go for coffee"

"Well good. I came to see if you were around, I guess I got my answer"

Before Ashley could walked away she felt a hand on her arm, she froze when she felt how cold it was. It took so much for Ashley to not turn around and kiss Spencer, she wanted to so bad. When she turned to face her, she saw Spencer looking away and her grip left her arm.

"I'll give him a kiss for you"

When Ashley left into the bar, Spencer stood there staring at the door she went through. She had wanted to tell Ashley so much, but she always became numb around her. Spencer pushed off the wall and walked down to Kyla's car, she grabbed her bag and pulled out a picture of Asher. There wasn't a day she hadn't thought of him, but knew she was too fucked up to be his mom. He disserved to have a parent that loves him so much, that they would do anything for him and Spencer couldn't do that. As much as she begged herself, and pleaded she couldn't face trying to be better. It was like her mind was telling her she would never be enough, and will always be a fuck up. Spencer wiped away the tears and put the picture away, Asher was better off without her.

"You okay Spence?"

"Oh ya I'm fine, ready?"

"Yup"

When they got into the car and Kyla started to drive towards the coffee shop, Spencer started to get a little tense. She was still going through withdraws, and sometimes they were worst then others. Kyla could sense something was wrong, so she knew she had to distract Spencer.

"Do you have plans tomorrow?"

"No"

"Where are you staying again, because you're more than welcome to stay at my place you know? The spare room in the loft might be small, but it works."

"At a friend's, umm I will be okay Ky"

"Okay, but if you need somewhere you know your more than welcome okay?"

"Thanks"

"So how was living in New York?"

"Good, I guess"

They pulled into the parking lot, and Kyla put the car in park. Kyla looked over at her best friend, and saw she was hurting. She reached over and took Spencer hand.

"You're going to be okay Spencer, please don't give up okay?"

"I'm trying"

"Do it for yourself okay, no one else. The life you had in New York is gone, and we don't ever have to talk about it again. Your safe Spencer, and one day you're going to trust me when I say that."

"Thank you Kyla"

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R&R Please


	7. New

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters_

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**Song used: BLAKE SHELTON - I'M SORRY**

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**New**

Ashley stood in the middle of her future living room; she had found the perfect place this morning with Arthur. She knew she wanted a simple place, with two bedrooms and a downstairs for her music/ play room for Asher. Arthur's friend down the street was selling his place because he had moved out to Texas with his new girlfriend; Arthur showed Ashley and fell in love with it. She looked around how empty it was, and wondered how she was going to make this home. She kind of felt she was coming back from nothing, like she never even was here before. The one thing that Arthur's friend left was a piano; it was too big to move he said. She walked over and took a seat; she ran her hands over the keys and started to play.

**_"You say you never meant to hurt me,_**

**_Well that might be true._**

**_But do you really think I should forgive you,_**

**_For what you put me through._**

**_Oh, I remember every time you said you loved me_**

**_But I know now your love was just a lie_**

**_And you say you're sorry,_**

**_Oh you're sorry,_**

**_You want it back the way it was._**

**_Well I'm sorry,_**

**_But sometimes sorry,_**

**_Just ain't good enough._**

**_Oh, girl I don't know what it is_**

**_That you're expecting_**

**_Just because you looked me in the eye_**

**_And say you're sorry"_**

Ashley stopped when she heard a knock at the door; she got up and opened it to find Paula standing there with a box of stuff. She laughed when she held up some wine; Ashley opened the door more and let her in. Paula always knew what to bring to help Brighton someone's day.

"You know it's not even noon right Paula"

"It's never early for a girl to have some wine, beside this is for me. You have to drive to go pick up Asher soon anyways"

"Right, my sister picked him up early today. I thought she was getting him tonight?"

"She called and asked if she could come this morning since she had to run the bar tonight, you know your sister is doing really well these days"

"That's Kyla for you, but I was worried about her when I first went on tour. I didn't think she was going to make a comeback after our mother past away"

"I'm with you on that, Arthur and I were very worried. I'm just happy that we were there for both of you while you explored your options"

Ashley smiled and took a seat at one of bar stools, taking a sip of her soda. She reached over and grabbed her cell and saw she had ten missed calls from her manager, she rolled her eyes. She hadn't been home more than a day, and they were begging her to come back.

"You know you could always just produce music"

"I could, but that means I would have people coming and going from this place Paula. I remember when my father did and it made me kind of freaked. Sometimes the musicians were fucked up and didn't even realize what they were doing. I don't want Asher around that, and I don't want to be around that"

"Then make sure they are non fucked up I guess"

"Wow did you just swear Paula?"

"Yes I fucking did!" The girls laughed, and Paula took another sip of her wine. If she wanted to she could probably drink a whole bottle to herself.

"I was thinking about bringing in some of Linda Perry's musician and help them out a bit, but it would be just a hobby you know"

"Well first you should get things settled down here, and then worry about that later. You have been away for some time Ashley; you need some quiet time for right now okay?"

"Yes mom"

"That's my girl; now let's talk about the one thing I know your thinking about. So talk missy"

"About what?"

"My daughter"

"Spencer, well I saw her last night at Kyla's bar"

"She's back?"

"I guess, I don't know if she is staying or not but oh well"

"Ashley Davies"

"Okay I do care Paula, and I love her you know I do. I just can't help but fucking hate her for leaving Asher! She never even gave us a fucking god damn reason to why she left!"

"She didn't just leave Asher; she left all of us Ashley"

"Did she ever say anything to you or Arthur about what happen when she was in college?"

"No, she came home all the time to spend time with Asher. Then she just stopped, Arthur and I tried to believe her excuses but we couldn't. Then everything stopped even the phone calls, that when you came home. "

"I came home to an empty house, a son, and full custody of him."

"She went to New York, maybe Kyla was the one with the answers"

"My sister will not tell me what happen, trust me I have tried."

"Well we know that something happen at college, then in New York was the finish touch"

"Do you think Asher and I were not enough for her, like she wanted more out of life?"

"Oh baby girl you two were her whole world. She loved you both so much and still does"

"Then why did she leave, because I don't understand how she could just leave her son Paula."

Paula got up and wrapped her arms around that shaking body in front of her, and rubbed Ashley back. She felt the tears drip down own face as she heard Ashley cry out her pain, it was about time Ashley finally let it out.

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R&R Please


	8. Watching & Waiting

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the Characters._

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**Watching & Waiting**

Spencer walked down the trail and stopped just at the edge of the park, she leaned on one of the trees by her. She watched as Kyla ran around with Asher, and smiled when she saw how happy Asher was. She looked around to make sure no one saw her here, and then she slid down and brought her knees to her chest. Spencer saw the other kids playing with their parents and laughing as a family, made her hurt even more. When she looked back over at Kyla she was looking right back at Spencer, she nodded and made a little wave then went back to play with Asher.

"Is this why you came back?" Spencer jumped at the sudden voice beside her; she looked up at Ashley who was looking ahead.

"I'm sorry, I'll go"

"Don't its fine. You know you could actually go near him, but it's you that chose to stay away."

Spencer looked away then back down at the ground; she knew Ashley was going to say what she wanted. She knew that not only did she leave everyone, she left Ashley. Spencer played with her fingers, and started to tense when Ashley took a seat next to her on the ground.

"How was being a rock and roll star?"

"It was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed it. There were times where I just wanted to quit and come home, but I had fans waiting for me to just show up. I did come home a lot to see Asher, but not as much as I wanted to. Kyla came and saw me while I was in New York, and I would see her when I could also. I would have came and saw you too, I just didn't know how to contact you. The only time I ever actually saw you was when Kyla decided to open a bar here"

"Sounds like an interesting life you have had, and its fine I didn't want anyone to know I was here."

"Spencer when you're ready, I really want to know what happen to you. Until then I'll give you space. If you want to see your son up close, and talk to him let me know"

Spencer continued to watch Asher and Kyla play in the park, Ashley walked over to them. Spencer got up turning to walk back where she had come from; this was something she wasn't ready to see. As she passed Ashley's car, she saw one of Ashers toys on the front seat it was the teddy bear Ashley bought when he was born. She continued to walk past and started to think about her past.

_FLASHBACK..._

_She woke in a room she wasn't sure she had ever been in; when she looked around she saw it was defiantly a girl's room. She held up the sheets as she got out of the bed and grabbed her clothes from the floor, she couldn't believe what she had done. It wasn't even a month after living here, and she had already cheated on Ashley. After she got dressed, she walked to the door and opened it as a girl came in with coffee. _

_"__Spence where you going, I brought us coffee"_

_"__Becca I have to go, I'm sorry."_

_"__Wait Spencer what's wrong, tell me?"_

_"__I have a son, and a girlfriend at home."_

_"__I know you do, you couldn't stop talking about how much you missed them and wanted to see them"_

_"__Then why did I fucking wake up naked in your fucking bed Becca!" _

_"__Spencer calm down, you got drunk last night and puked all over yourself. Your clothes are on my desk chair, I'm sorry. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm going to try and hook up with you, besides you have a family girl"_

_"__I'm sorry, it's just waking up naked in a bed not mine scared me"_

_"__It's all good, let's get you changed and coffee in you" _

_"__Sounds good"_

_FLASHBACK ENDED_

Spencer walked up the stairs pulling out her key to her door, when she opened it she was relieved to find she had the place to herself. She walked to her room taking off her clothes at the same time. She turned on the shower, getting under the hot water. As she punched the wall thinking of the mistakes she had made, she heard her phone go off. She stepped out grabbing her phone, it was a text.

**_Have you told her? – B_**

* * *

R&R Please


	9. Little Love

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters_

* * *

**_Hey everyone! I'm happy you are all leaving me awesome reviews! Yes I have been updating a lot, and I probably will because I'm on reading week so I have more time to write. I write chapter every time a new scene comes into my head, so that's when I update. Thanks everyone! - SUSHI _**

* * *

**Little Love**

Ashley laughed as Asher was going crazy with painting his own room; she thought he should decide what his room looked liked. Hand prints, and colourful brush strokes is all he could do, but to him it was artwork. Asher reached into the paint bucket and spun around, making Ashley bend down and away from the spray.

"Whoa buddy, you enjoy painting and I'm going to go make some lunch okay?"

"Okay ma"

"What's the rule?"

"No eating the paint, I got this ma"

"Okay, love you Asher"

"ya ya"

"Excuse me?"

"I love you mommy with a cheery on top"

"Have fun"

Ashley walked into the kitchen and pulled out some bread, cheese, and butter. She wasn't really good at cooking for Asher, but he loved her grilled cheese. She turned on the stove and started to make the grilled cheese, she heard Asher giggle in the other room. The sound of her sound having fun, made her realize she made the right choice on picking home life instead of music was the right choice.

"Ma?"

"Yes Asher?"

"What am I going to put in my room?"

"I was thinking maybe a bed so you can sleep" Both of them laughed; Asher took a seat at the table.

"Can I put pictures up?"

"You can put whatever you want up, do you know what things you want in your room?"

"I don't know yet, I do want pictures of everyone. Is that okay?"

"Sure" Ashley set a plate down in front of him, and poured some milk. Asher was a very smart boy and he had good manners.

"Do we have pictures of everyone?"

"We don't then we will get some okay?"

"Okay, thank you for lunch ma"

Ashley smiled, she was really happy to be home with her boy. She went over; grabbing some of the chips she was snaking on. She watched as Asher was smiling as he ate his lunch, she saw Spencer in him more every day. When she thought of Spencer all she could think of was how things were back in high school, so simple.

After her first tour Ashley had come home to a empty house with a letter on the table, Spencer had sign her rights over to Ashley and was no longer wanting rights to Asher. All of her stuff was gone, and what she left behind was nothing but dust. They had talked all the time about the future, and settling down once Spencer had her degree. Just days before she came home they had talked about Ashley taking a break and moving Asher and them closer to Spencer. Nothing seemed off about Spencer, so coming home to her gone was shocking. Ashley did see her a few times while she was in New York; this was only for a few seconds. It was like Spencer was following Ashley and haunting her where she went. When Kyla came back and open a bar, that's when Ashley would see Spencer more often. They never did talk about things, because Ashley wasn't ready to deal while having so much going on.

"Ma?"

"Ya kiddo?"

"Do you miss mama?"

"I do what about you?"

"I don't know, is that bad?"

"No Asher it's not"

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**R&R Please**


	10. Let's go down Memory Lane

_I do not own South Of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters_

* * *

**Let's go down memory lane...**

Bar was empty and it was just the afternoon staff making sure everything was ready for that night. Spencer walked down the stairs nodding at the staff, by now they knew who she was and why she was there. One of the girls nodded over to the office where yelling was coming from, Kyla wasn't having a good day.

"For fuck sakes Paul this is twice in a fucking row, you're fired!"

"Angry much?" Kyla jumped almost right out of her chair, she looked at Spencer who was leaning on her door way.

"Hey Spence, and yes I am because fucking Paul has yet again let me down. Do you know any good singers that would be available tonight?"

"Your sister?"

"Maybe, I don't think she wants to spend more time away from Asher then she has to."

"Just ask, can't hurt"

"I guess, anyways what brings you by?" Kyla grabbed her phone and sent a text to her sister; she was really praying that she would say yes.

**_Ash I need a favour. My band canceled tonight, can you play? Please I'm desperate! – Kyla_**

"Just came by to say hi, I'll let you get back to being angry"

"No stay, I'm needing a break anyways. Have you found a job yet?"

"I was actually here to ask you if you're hiring."

"You start tonight, where did you go yesterday?"

"Back to my place"

"Can I ask you something Spencer?"

"Sure"

"Why you came back here, I told you Ashley might be coming back but I didn't think you were going to come back to"

"I didn't come back because of her, I came back because I needed to get clean and New York wasn't the place"

"Why now?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I left last year you were still on whatever you were taking, and worst then when you're first got into New York"

"I need to fix my life that's all"

"So nothing happens that made you be like 'wow I am a fuck up, I need to see the light' or was it just a simple choice"

"It was a simple choice, that's all."

"Are you planning on going back to school?"

"What's with the questions Kyla?"

"I'm trying to understand all of this Spencer. My sister and you left years ago then broke up. Now you're both back and everyone doesn't know what happen between then and now."

"Does it matter?"

"It does when it comes to family, you're my family Spencer so please just tells me" Spencer walked over and took a seat on the couch across from Kyla.

"Ask away"

"Really?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Okay. What happen that made you leave college?"

"I just didn't enjoy it, I hated it actually"

"Why did you move to New York?"

"Kyla I lived with you for 2 years and you never even asked me that"

"I'm asking now"

"I needed a change and when you said to come visit I thought maybe living there would be that change."

"When did the drugs start before or after New York?"

"Did I look high when I go there?"

"I don't remember, but no I don't think so"

"There is your answer"

"Why did you leave them" Spencer got up and walked around the room, she didn't really know what to say.

"I don't know, but I know I regret it every day of my life"

"Spencer that night you left I knew the old you was never going to come back. I never told anyone about that night, but it still scares me"

"It was once Kyla, it won't happen again I promise"

"You were in a coma for a week and a half why didn't that stop you from doing the drugs!"

"Because it didn't okay!"

"What happen to you Spencer?"

"Stop Kyla!"

"No, I went two years without asking you. I saw you go from a mess to a wreck in better of fucking days! I disserve some answers from you!"

"Then why didn't you even try to help me Kyla, you could have got me clean or called my parents!"

"So this is my fault!"

"Look I have to go, I'll come back tonight for work thanks."

"Spencer I'm sorry okay it's just that I thought I had time to help you, but it was too late you were already gone"

"The thing is Kyla, all I needed was someone to care" Kyla went to say something, her phone beeped, when she looked up Spencer had already left.

**_You're lucky lil sister, I'll be there at 8pm sharp – Ash_**

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R&R Please


	11. You Decide

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters_

* * *

**You Decide**

Ashley stood still as she looked at the stage beside her, tonight she was the main event at her sister bar. When she said yes she didn't know what kind of songs she was going to play, but then she decided to just play from what her heart told her to.

"Please welcome my sister, Ashley Davies!" The crowd went wild, screaming as Ashley stepped out onto the stage, hugging her sister.

Ashley walked over and stood by the mic, putting one hand on it. She bowed her head and told everyone thank you over and over again. She looked around, everyone eyes were on her. She never really did a concert in a small place like this since she went on tour, so she was kind of nervous.

"Tonight I'm going to play some songs that aren't on my records, I wrote these songs a few years ago, and some are ones I wrote recently. This first one I wrote while I was still in high school, enjoy" Ashley closed her eyes, and started to strum her guitar as the band behind her starting to follow.

**_I don't remember the moment I tried to forget_**

**_I lost myself, is it better not said_**

**_Now I'm closer to the edge_**

**_It was a thousand to one and a million to two_**

**_Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you_**

**_Closer to the edge_**

**_No I'm not saying I'm sorry_**

**_One day maybe we'll meet again_**

**_No I'm not saying I'm sorry_**

**_One day maybe we'll meet again_**

**_No no no no_**

**_Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free?_**

**_The birth of a song, the death of a dream_**

**_Closer to the edge_**

**_This never ending story_**

**_Paid for with pride and fate_**

**_We all fall short of glory_**

**_Lost innocence_**

**_No no no no_**

**_I will never forget_**

**_No no_**

**_I will never regret_**

**_No no_**

**_I will live my life_**

**_Closer to the edge_**

**_Closer to the edge_**

**_No no no no_**

**_Closer to the edge_**

**_Closer to the edge_**

**_No no no no_**

**_Closer to the edge_**

Ashley strum the last chord and breathed as the crowed kept clapping for her, she turned and nodded at the guitarist behind her. She walked over setting down her guitar, then walking back over placing both hands on the mic.

"We all need a hero; we all need someone to save us. This next song is called Guardian" Ashley smiled at her sister "This one is for you sis"

**You, you who has smiled when you're in pain**

**You who has soldiered through the profane**

**They were distracted and shut down**

**So why, why would you talk to me at all**

**Such words were dishonorable and in vain**

**Their promise as solid as a fog**

**And where was your watchman then**

**I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian**

**I'll be your warrior of care, your first warden**

**I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand**

**The greatest honor of all, as your guardian**

**You, you in the chaos feigning sane**

**You who has pushed beyond whats humane**

**Them as the ghostly tumbleweed**

**And where was your watchman then**

**I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian**

**I'll be your warrior of care, your first warden**

**I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand**

**The greatest honor of all, as your guardian**

**Now no more smiling mid-crestfall**

**No more managing unmanageables**

**No more holding still in the hailstorm**

**Now enter your watchwoman**

**I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian**

**I'll be your warrior of care, your first warden**

**I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand**

**The greatest honor of all, as your guardian**

Ashley took a sip of her water and smiled at everyone in the crowed. She thanked them, and then walked over to the piano. As she took a seat, she took one more sip of water. She looked down at the keys as she spoke.

"Everyone has that one person that keeps you breathing, this next song is called breathe and it's for all those couples who are in love" Ashley looked over and saw Spencer standing by the edge of the stage, leaning on the wall.

**Everything outside is grey and lonely**

**Sparkle like electricity in our city, yeah**

**Let's light it up**

**Falling under pressure I can feel the butterflies**

**So you blow smoke inside my mouth**

**You light me up**

**I can be your work of art for life**

**You just show me what you want tonight**

**So together we can breathe**

**Wanna give you all of me**

**Open up your eyes and love me, love me, love me,**

**When am fallin' to my knees**

**I wanna give you all of me**

**You don't have to take care of me, of me, of me**

**Together we can breathe**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Love me, love me**

**Together we can breathe**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Love me, love me**

**Addicted to the colours that your using on me**

**Cloud above my head are beautiful and red**

**Blow it up**

**Its crystal clear weather you know things**

**Just inhale me into your world**

**Blow it up**

**I can be your work of art for life**

**You just show me what you want for life**

**So together we can breathe**

**Wanna give you all of me**

**Open up your eyes and love me, love me, love me,**

**When I'm fallin' to my knees**

**I wanna give you all of me**

**You don't have to take care of me, of me, of me**

**Together we can breathe**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Love me, love me**

**Together we can breathe**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Love me, love me**

**Together we can breathe**

**In and out its all I need to taste the sweet to feel complete**

**Ohhh**

**In and out its all I need to breathe to breathe we can breathe**

**I wanna give you all of me**

**Open up your eyes and love me, love me, love me**

**When I'm falling to my knees**

**I wanna give you all of me**

**You don't have to take care of me, of me, of me**

**So together we can breathe**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**Ohh ohh ohh**

**You love me you love me**

**So together can breathe**

**You love me, you love, you love me**

**So together we can breathe**

When Ashley was done she looked over and Spencer was standing there staring at her right in the eye. It was like Spencer knew what Ashley was thinking, feeling, and she just wasn't giving a shit. Spencer stare burned into Ashley like an ice chill threw her chest; she grabbed the mic and started to keep playing. Her eyes turning back towards the audience, she was done with Spencer games.

* * *

After a few more songs and a lot more yelling from girls to be her wife, Ashley decided to end the show. When she got off stage there were a couple of people handing her papers to sign, and even some body parts. Of course Ashley never wanted to be rude sign everything she could, but she wanted to go find someone. She went into the backstage and in her dressing room, where she found Spencer standing there arms crossed. Ashley didn't think, she just reacted.

"Fuck!" Spencer grabbed her nose that Ashley just punched, and went over to grab some towels.

"What the fuck Ashley!"

"I wanted to do that for so fucking long, I fucking hate you Spencer!"

"No you don't, you hate what I did"

"Does it fucking matter!" Again something inside Ashley was building up, and she took another swing at Spencer.

"Ashley stop!" Spencer was down on the ground blocking Ashley from smashing her face in, when she finally saw Ashley stop.

"Why are you back, and don't fucking tell me some sappy fucking story"

"I needed to change okay, I get that I fucked up Ashley I do. You don't have to pound my fucking face in to let me know how bad I did. I'm just trying to do something right for once, and I don't know how to start"

"For starters you shouldn't have come back here, when you left you should have stayed away"

"What the fuck bipolar much, you were fine the other times I saw you. Now your pist and angry at me, and punching me"

"You disserved it, now get the fuck out of my dressing room and go back to New York Spencer!" Spencer got up and wiped her nose, she looked at Ashley. This was never like Ashley to ever use this much anger on her.

"Ash..."

"Don't, just go Spencer"

"I'm sorry okay; I'm here to fucking try to fix this"

"Fix what Spencer, please tell me what. You randomly dropped out of college, you randomly left Asher and I, and then you became a fucking drug addict, and oh an then you show up here asking me for what?"

"Nothing, I'm asking you for nothing. All I want is to make things right with you and Asher, and then I'll leave and never come back"

"So you can break your son's heart again! Fuck Spencer you really are fucked in the head now aren't you"

"Stop okay just stop! Fuck I'm fucking trying Ashley and I need your help!"

"How, how can I help you?"

"Tell me what you want me to do, do you want me gone for good"

"I want you to tell me what the hell happen"

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"Because it has nothing to do with us, I need to deal with us and only us"

"How can we deal with us without me knowing why you left?"

"Ashley, something's you just can't ever know and this is one of those things. I regret leaving I do, and I don't fucking disserve to even be able to fix things. Please I miss my son and I want to just hug him so bad"

"Then you shouldn't of left"

"Tell me to leave Ashley, and I'll leave, forever. Or help me fix this, and I'll stay for good. You have the right to decide, not me. So choose, stay or go"

Ashley walked over to Spencer and looked her in the eyes; she reached up running her fingers through Spencer's hair. In just that moment, Spencer's blue eyes that she loved so much were shown. Spencer had love in her eyes, they weren't dark anymore. Ashley swallowed put her head down, and took a step back.

"I'm sorry, but I think you should..."

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R&R Please


	12. I'm Sorry

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the Characters_

* * *

**I'm sorry**

"I think you should leave, I need time to figure out what to do okay?"

"Ashley I really am sorry for everything" Spencer walked over, taking a seat on the couch and running her hands through her hair.

"I don't want to believe you Spencer, I just want to hate you and I can't stop"

"I've tried writing you letters, or actually telling you in person about what happen every time we saw each other." Ashley walked over and sat beside her, and looked over at the broken girl.

"Why couldn't you Spencer, why can't you just tell me instead of making it worst on yourself"

"Every time I try it hurts to even think about it, I was so messed up and I thought if I just ran then I could resolve everything you know. Then it got to the point where I knew there was no turning back, I had already lost Asher's and yours trust."

"Spencer you want me to help you fix this right, and then you need to tell me what is going on okay?"

"Okay, but not here"

"Well how about we meet tomorrow somewhere you feel comfortable, and we can slowly go through all of this okay?"

"Okay, here is my number and you can text me when and where okay?"

"Spencer are you okay with this?"

"No, but this is the only way I can fix things" Spencer walked out of the room and down into the bar, she wasn't ready for any of this. She nodded at the bartender, and took a shot of tequila. Before leaving she noticed Ashley walking through the crowed and up to Kyla, she didn't need more questions so she left the bar.

"Thank you so much for playing tonight Ash, it was amazing!"

"Your welcome Kyla, I'm going to head home okay?"

"Ash what's wrong, what happen?"

"Nothing just had a little talk with Spencer and I got violent"

"What! Why!"

"I had all this anger built up, and she was in the dressing room"

"So you beat her, what the fuck Ashley!"

"No I hit her couple of times, but look I apologize and I feel horrible about it okay!"

"I'm going to go check up on her; can you look after the bar?"

"No let me go okay, please?"

"Okay, she is staying with her friend down the street. She knows I don't like where she is staying, because the guy is a douche. Here is the address, and if you're lucky it will just be her home." Ashley nodded and hugged her sister.

"Wish me luck"

"Good luck sis, and take out the anger before you see her"

* * *

Spencer stepped out of the shower and put on a t-shirt and boxers, walking into the kitchen grabbing some cereal. After tonight all she wanted to do was relax and watch some cartoons, when she turned on the TV she saw her black eye. She reached up and felt the bruised parts, and winced at the pain. She looked down at her cereal and flipped through the TV channels then settled on one.

**How is it going little S? – B**

**Got a black eye – S**

**What happen? – B**

**Ex had some anger – S**

**Damn girl that's rough, want me to beat her up? – B**

**No I disserved it – S**

Spencer put down her phone and cereal when she heard a knock at the door. She quickly got up and grabbed her knife from her bag, and slowly walked to the door. She reached for the door and stopped.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Ashley"

Spencer opened the door and was shocked to see it was actually Ashley. She stepped back and allowed her to come in, she set the knife down. Ashley looked around and noticed that this place was in a very bad neighbourhood, but inside was pretty clean.

"What are you doing here Ashley, not that your aren't allowed umm here how did you find me?"

"Kyla, she wanted to check up on you and I said I would"

"Well I'm good, you can tell your sister to stop worrying about me."

"I also came to say I'm sorry for hitting you Spencer, I don't ever want to do that again and I'm so fucking sorry"

"I forgive you, but I know I disserved it" Spencer looked down and played with her hands, she hated feeling vulnerable. Ashley reached over and picked up her chin, and looked her in the eyes.

"No one ever disserves to be hit Spencer, not even you"

"Thanks" Ashley stepped back and noticed the cartoons, and she couldn't help but laugh.

"Really, it's almost 12 at night and you choose to watch cartoons?"

"They relax me, want to join?"

"Sure"

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**R&R Please**


	13. Lovely Night

_I do not own South of Nowhere, nor do I own the characters_

* * *

**Lovely Night**

The girls were laughing over the simple things that came from watching cartoons at 1 in the morning. Ashley had missed how relaxing it felt to just watch some TV, and Spencer didn't mind the good company. Spencer reached over and grabbed some of the popcorn that Ashley and her were sharing; of course she made it since Ashley always burns popcorn.

"Did you find a place for you and Asher yet?" Ashley turned away from the screen, and looked over at Spencer.

"Yes I did, it's just down from your parents place so they can be near Asher just in case I need them"

"That's good that my parents are there for you and Asher, there good people"

"They are there for you too, when you're ready you know" Spencer nodded and pulled her legs up to her chest.

"The last time I saw them was when I left, they didn't see me but I saw them"

"Have you thought about going to visit them; I know they would love to see you"

"One step at a time Ashley, please"

"Sorry, its late I should get going home. I have an early morning tomorrow, and then I was think we could maybe meet up and talk?"

"Ya sure, sounds good" Spencer got up putting all the dishes into the sink, she saw Ashley touch the knife that was on the counter.

"Yours?"

"You never know what is out there"

"That's true"

Just then the front door open, and a tall man walked in. Ashley recognized him from the bar, but she couldn't put a name to the face. She looked over to see Spencer tense, and then became relaxed when she saw who it was. Ashley step back as Spencer came around to her side.

"Hey Rein, you home late"

"Sorry Spencer I was caught up at work, who is this little lady?" Spencer laughed, Rein looked so mean in person, but he was the biggest softly.

"This is Ashley, Kyla's sister and Asher's mother"

"Well it's good to meet you; I will be in my room if you need me okay?"

"Thanks Rein" Spencer put her hands in her pockets and leaned against the wall, and Ashley played with her keys.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"What, no!"

"Sorry "

"Its fine, no he is just a friend I met while in New York"

"Is that the douche?"

"Kyla thinks he is a douche because he never hits on her like most guys, what she hasn't clued in is that he is Gay"

"Oh, well he seems like a good guy"

"Ya he is, when I said I wanted to come home he opened his place for me. When I would come back here to see Kyla I would stay here. "

"So you met him in New York?"

"Yes at a bar actually, and we hit it off then he moved here"

"Cool, well I should go. Thanks for the cartoons, and popcorn it was relaxing"

"Anytime, text me tomorrow okay?"

"I will"

Ashley closed the door behind her and walked down to her car, she looked back up to see all the lights being turned off except one. Spencer was looking out of the top left one; Ashley smiled and waved getting into her car. On the ride home all she could think about was asking Spencer all those questions she had in her head. Tonight was the first time since forever that her and Spencer actually sat down and hung out. It felt good, she took out her phone as she parked and texted someone she couldn't help but talking to again.

**Hey would you like to go for coffee in the A.M say 9? – A**

**Starbucks ? –S**

**See you there – A**

Spencer closed her journal, turning off the music she had put on. She looked around at her simple bedroom, and the simple clothes she had. She had lived so simple, and never in one place. In New York it was couch to couch, or even a park bench. Some nights were colder than others, so she would find shelter under a bridge if she had to.

"Spence?"

"Hey Rein I thought you went to bed?"

"I heard the music stop and thought I would come see how you were doing?"

"I'm good, tired but good"

"Nice black eye kiddo"

"Thanks, I had it coming"

"So that the ex, Asher's mother?"

"Ya"

"So you did go talk to her"

"I tried, but I couldn't. I said I would talk tomorrow if I can, we are going for coffee at 9 so make sure I'm awake"

"Will do, good night Spencer and Becca wants you to call her?"

"That girl is so needy"

"Tell me about it"

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**R&R please**


	14. Coffee Date

**_Hello everyone! Thank you for all the reviews, yes I have been updating a lot. I really love writing for all of you, and I love getting all these reviews! I read each one, and you make me want to write more. I have had this scene in my head for days, and I have wanted to share it so here it is. I want to warn you that this story is intense, but I wanted it to show how fast someone's life can change by just a matter of days. Life is short, and anything can happen. – Sushi 1976_**

* * *

**Coffee date**

Ashley had been sitting in the coffee shop for an hour, and Spencer still hadn't showed up. She tried calling the girl, there was no answer. She looked around and all she saw was cute little couples making cute faces at each other, she wished she had that. Finally she got tired of waiting and walk out to her car, she heard her name being called. When she turned around it was Spencer, she looked like she hadn't slept.

"I'm sorry I'm late, please don't go"

"It's fine, still up for that coffee?"

"Of course, but can we maybe walk through the park and talk?"

"Sure, we can take my car"

The girls got to the park a few minutes later, Spencer hadn't really spoken much since she showed up. Ashley wanted to ask if she was okay, but she didn't want to push Spencer away too much. She also didn't know if she wanted to hear the truth, but she came to see what Spencer had to say. The girls took a seat at one of the picnic tables; it was across from the pond.

"I'm not ready to tell you what I need to, but I will."

"Spencer if you don't..."

"Don't, just let me get this out or I don't think I ever will. I just don't know where to start"

"Well what happen in college?"

"I broke free; well that's what it felt like at lease. In high school we had fun times, but after I got pregnant it was like I wasn't allowed to be the teen I wanted to be, all these responsibilities came and I felt trapped. I knew I was doing the right thing, and being an adult I just wanted to have fun. When I got to college everyone was partying, and I was in my dorm missing my son. I was missing you while you were on tour, and I got depressed. Then one night I went out to a party, my friend Becca wanted to cheer me up. The next morning I woke up and thought I had cheated on you because I was naked in her bed. I didn't, I got wasted and puked all over my clothes. That is when I turned to alcohol to stop thinking about everything else, I became a mess. I wasn't even in college for a year and I felt like a fuck up, I knew Asher, you, my parents were expecting so much of me, and it was a lot of pressure. Every night I was either getting drunk, or was already wasted. "

"Spencer you could have told me, you could have come home"

"I didn't want to Ashley, I felt so free. I wasn't a mother, girlfriend, or a daughter there; I was just a student who didn't have any responsibilities. I started to regret having Asher, and settling down with you so soon, that hurt me more than anything so I tried to suppress it with more booze. When that didn't work I found a myself starting to use drugs, weed at first. Becca took notice and she tried, and begged me to get help. I hated her; I thought she was against me, like she didn't understand me when I thought she did. "

"Spence..."

"It gets worst, one night after yelling at Becca I went and found a guy that I would spend time with at parties. His name is Jude, him and I would go to every party and that night he introduce me to cocaine for the first time. I was higher than I ever felt, and Jude knew this. I asked him to take me home I didn't like feeling that high and I got scared. When we got there I saw I had some missed calls and I threw my phone, he asked what was wrong and I said my girlfriend is calling. Next thing I remember I fell asleep in my bed, and when I woke up I was in the hospital with Becca by my bed crying"

"What happen?"

"Becca said that she found me naked, beaten, and spread out on my floor. She had tried to call me, when I didn't answer she came to check on me. There was a letter on my bed that the police found after the paramedics took me away"

"What did it say?"

"Dirty dykes like you need to be taught a lesson"

"Oh my gosh, Spencer I'm so sorry! Why didn't you tell us?"

"I promised Becca to never tell anyone, I refused to let this bring me down. They found his DNA in me, so he was arrested. Because it was on campus, they couldn't release any names so no one knew it was me. I swore I would never touch another drug, or even drink again. I even tried to go back to school, but I couldn't. Becca said that maybe I needed to go home, so I did."

"You did?"

"I came back here, it was the day I saw my parents with Asher. They were playing right here by this pond, Asher was feeding the ducks. I felt like a failure, like I let everyone down. I had gone weeks without even trying to contact Asher, or you. I felt like the worst mother ever, and I knew Asher needed someone better in his life not the fuck up person I had become. So I went to our apartment and left that note for you. I must have set there for hours just crying because I knew if I left, I could never come back. "

"You didn't have to Spencer; we could have just worked through it"

"Ashley there was no working through it, I would have never told you nor would I let you come near me. I felt so gross inside, and I would scream through the night from nightmares, I was a mess"

"I still would have been there for you Spencer"

"I think deep down I knew you would, but I wouldn't allow myself to think that. So I ran to the only place I could think of"

"New York"

"Ya and your sister had so many questions. I told her lies to cover up anything that I knew she would come back and tell you. I thought I could start over there you know, and maybe come back for you and Asher. "

"What happen?"

"Nothing, everything was the same and that was the problem. I still felt gross, I felt hopeless, and I felt like I was still fucked up. So I went to a club one night, and found the one thing I knew that would numb it all."

"Drugs"

"At first I hid it well from Kyla, but after she wouldn't have it anymore and kicked me out. I had no job, no money, and slept anywhere I could. The urge to get high got worst, and soon I doing anything I could just to get high"

"What did you do?"

"Its New York Ashley, think about it"

"No, you didn't!"

"Every chance I got I did in order to get high. I would have sex with anybody from random drug dealers, to some nice lawyers who needed a good lay. I had found myself at the lowest point of my life, and I couldn't stop myself. I knew it was wrong, I knew I could just stop and come home to a family who would help me, but I couldn't. The high, the sex, everything had taken over me and I couldn't leave."

"Why did you come back all those times?"

"I would have these moments where I chose to catch a ride to California when I would have enough cash on me. I knew Kyla went and saw Asher on the weekends, so I would fellow and watch them play together. It made me feel even worst, so when I got back to New York I would spend days just high to forget about it."

"What changed, what made you come back here?"

"Rein, and Becca"

* * *

R&R Please


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